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  • Maria Vandenburg

Finding the Need for Balance

I have actually felt a bit overwhelmed yesterday and today, I have been struggling with focus. This entry.is going to be a bit harder for me to put into words but I am going to try.



I've recently tuned into a man named John Wineland and he talks about how we have two energies within us - masculine and feminine. I knew that before (that I'm made up of both) but I didn't really understand what that meant, or the difference between the two. The masculine energy is related to consciousness/action/form/structure, the feminine is related to flow/pleasure/passion/receptivity. And ideally we are living with both in balance and harmony.


My whole life I've pretty much been in my masculine and am now slowly learning to embrace my feminity. But that means I've been so caught up in being in the flow that I've gotten out of balance, with my masculine energies crying out because they're longing for integrity and structure, not just a constant feeling into what feels right in the given moment.


I was on a call this morning where a woman asked a question that spoke to exactly where I was at. She was talking about how she feels a bit like she is lacking in focus and yet longing for it at the same time. John suggested that in the morning she spend time tuning into 3-4 things she might need to do that day in order to go to sleep that night without any thought. Then, she needs to block out time to focus on those particular things. She also mentioned her inner rebel will probably come out and yell about the structure, and he suggested she should allow for its expression (as in he stomped around and screamed a bit impersonating his own) but then move on and get to work.


This resonated for me because I currently feel like I'm weaving through two things.

1. The need to be in flow

2. The desire to get sh*t done


And they currently feel like they are battling it out.


So what am I planning on doing? Incorporating the practice of meditation and stillness to get more clear on the three or four things that would keep me up at night that I need to actually tackle during the day, and blocking on the time to do them.


I also set a 5-minute timer and sat in stillness before writing this post, and it was interesting to me because I'm also realizing that I need to let go of the "multi-tasker" that lives within me. As it's NOT productive, it's distracting.


So stillness for me is showing up as clarity, and ease and calm. My mind seems to be running a million miles an hour and telling me all kinds of things that I should be doing and that I should be doing them right now, my body seems to be telling me to rest, relax and feel into the next moment, and I need a healthy balance between the two. I'm planning on using time in the morning to be still and focus on priorities, blocking out time in the day to focus in on those said priorities (without multi-tasking and distractions), and also having PATIENCE AND COMPASSION with myself if I fail.

This is an interesting thing to emerge from my practice of stillness today, but it is what it is. I'm currently feeling a bit out of whack, and my body/mind is asking for unity, form, and structure.

Recorded a podcast on this as well (although fair warning, you can tell that I'm lacking structure in it, I bounce all over the place).





Sending love and light to you all.

© 2020 by Maria Vandenburg