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  • Writer's pictureMaria Vandenburg

Doing a REALLY good Job of Stressing myself out... UNTIL

You know, I forgot how much I find writing and updating this to be particularly therapeutic...

To catch you up to speed on my journey

  • I was unexpected laid off from Microsoft at the end of June.

  • I made peace with it as I know it was a "budget" issue and not a "Maria" issue

  • I spent the month of July traveling to SF and the UK (blogs on that to come... after I finish writing about Turkiye 🤣)

  • The beginning of August was my birthday and I deliberatedly decided to let go and not stress out about what was next...

Like the Sun... She brightened the living of all around her
Like the Sun... She brightened the living of all around her

Which brings me to a few weeks ago when I had the honor and privilege to go to Summer Camp at Seabeck Washington with a Spiritual Community that I love called The Center for Spiritual Living. I also brought along my mother and my aunt.

My Mother and My Aunt.. Taking a Stroll
My Mother and My Aunt.. Taking a Stroll

Which also brings us to the title of this blog. The first few days for me were ROUGH. Meaning, I didn't want to leave my room, I didn't want to go to class, hell... I didn't even want to go to breakfast 🥳

At first, I couldn't figure out why. What was bothering me so much? It was literally making me want to curl up in bed and not participate? After Mummy and Auntie Laurie came to check up on me the morning of day two... I pin-pointed what it was. I was stressed out about the fact that I had been unemployed for over two months now... and I didn't really have any legitimate job prospects coming.

And then I went to an Oracle Class taught by a woman I love named Rev. Kathianne Lewis. Kathianne basically laid the cards on the table. Cards that she herself had made. We were each asked to pick one, but not for ourselves. We needed to lean into our solar plexus and figure out who in the room needed it most. We weren't allowed to look at it... just breathe (and tune into our intuition).

I can't begin to tell you how much I needed this, because when I'm caught up in my own story (I'll never find a job, I'm all alone in this, there is no one to help me, this is overwhelming, blah blah blah... to name a few). I forget that I have so much more I can lean into, so much I can release and trust... again, and again, and again. It's crazy to me how easy it is for me to forget!

Card of Three Horses by Rev. Kathianne Lewis
Card of Three Horses by Rev. Kathianne Lewis

Anyway, the act of tuning in just to deliver the card to whomever it felt like it was meant for, tuned me back into... well, me. The card that I received is pictured above. Kathianne had us meditate on it and then asked us two questions

1. What Were we Meant to Receive from it?

2. Why now?

Here were my answers:
  1. I STRONGLY identified with the horse at the bottom that's moving full steam ahead... meaning I was so focused on the end goal, I neglected to notice the other horses (i.e. all of the higher wisdom/support that surrounds me). I also thought it was all up to me, that I was left to my own two senses to figure it all out.. neither of which are true

  2. Why Now? It was then that I noticed that if the horse just SLOWED DOWN she (i.e. me) could realize that we've got this. That although whatever is ahead on the path is not quite clear... I'm supported, I'm guided and I'm loved.

I needed that message more than I have words to express. Even now, a few weeks later, I can still do a pretty good job of forgetting and stressing myself out... but then I take deep a breathe and remember as Sonia Croquette told me when I met her in Sedona... "Relax, Spirit's Got this!" - if you're curious about that story you can read it here:

As to what's next?

It's still not fully clear yet... but that was the other thing I realized... that in addition to divine, angelic support... I can also have it right here on Earth🥰. So I asked for help. I asked for prayers in knowing that the perfect employment situation that gives me the financial and creative freedom I long for as well as inspires me and fires me up, is with me... right now.

I'm knowing that for myself, and I'm grateful to have a few others that I know, love and trust, knowing for me as well. SOOO.. we shall see, as I do my best to remember the words that I have written in this blog.

Interested in learning more about my personal journey?


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