Gratitude for my Here and Now
2020 has already been a bit of an emotional rollar coaster, complete with flu, jet-lag and free time.
The jet-lag piece I have had before, the other two? Not so much.
The day after I graduated from my MBA program (last November), I quit my job. Almost immediately following that I started working with a company called Intention Inspired on the launch of a new community space.
I've also recently finished editing and have found a publisher for my the first of the Crown Jewel Trilogy Series: The Akasha Records.
January was interesting for me though, because instead of constantly doing, I needed to come to a state of "being." At first my body was very loud and clear with this, in terms of getting sick. Then it showed up in pouring down rain and just wanting the comfort of my mothers apartment and company. There were things I needed to get done, but I couldn't find the effort, energy or motion to do them. It didn't "feel" right, so I relaxed into what did, namely resting.
What got me there though was gratitude. Gratitude for ability to rest, gratitude for my ability to pause, gratitude to be able to take the time to just sit and "be" with however I was feeling and love myself regardless.
February has brought a bit more forward movement but overall I am in a similar state. Everyday, I am able to wake up and focus on things that I am passionate about. Granted, not all of them fill me up with joy, like for example having to call out my co-worker/team-mate/no idea what the hell to call him, for missing a meeting, and/or really wanting to dive back into writing Crown Jewels: Book Two - The Royal Heart, but knowing I need to edit the first 50 chapters first to remind myself about what I've already written. But working through these things, accomplishing these things, even the ones that I struggle with, when I've moved through them, I'm so proud. And overall, I'm just so grateful that in my here and now I am able to devote my effort, energy and intention into projects that I really am truly incredibly passionate about, things I honestly believe can change the world.
So even though 2020 had a bit of a rough start, I'm grateful for it all, AND excited for what's to come.
I will keep you all posted as it unfolds.