I am a planner by nature, always have been.
My current profession is a Project Manager, but my life in its present moment isn't really all that planned.
I am working on making peace with that.
I seem to be right in the middle of a cross roads.
About a year ago I moved across the world from Seattle to London to get my MBA.About two months ago, I gave notice at my job to be able to travel and explore and breathe a bit this summer.A few weeks ago I gave notice on my current flat as I realised that I although I love my current flatmate (as they call them over here), I really treasure having my own space.
So this means I will get back from exploring Spain, Portugal and who knows where in August and I'll be jobless and homeless. The craziest part about this – is that when I look at myself a few years ago there is no way that I would be OK with any of these situations (i.e traveling alone, quitting a job before having another one lined up, and giving notice on an apartment at a time when I'll be traveling and unable to find a new one).
So – What makes it different now?
I believe deep down that I am never alone. I am able to take these leaps of faith because I am trusting that I am being guided and supported and that ultimately they will all lead to my further growth and development.
How do I make peace with uncertainty?
I trust that everything is going as it's supposed to, that I am exactly where I am meant to be, and that I am loved and supported always.
How do I get to a point of trusting?
Well I can break it down to four things
1. I realise how brave I already am – and know that I can handle anything that comes my way
Just over a year ago, I ended up coming across a company called Intention Inspired and enrolling in one of their courses called - 30 days of Brave. I think my brave journey officially started then, and has continually expanded since. I have actually had quite a few people in my life recently comment on my bravery in different contexts. I can see how far I have come. How much I have flexed this brave muscle of mine, and how each time I do, it makes this whole level of a trust thing a bit easier.
2. I let go of any expectations that I have – holding onto what I want but letting go of all the details
This one is really tricky for me, as it's a fine line between intention and attachment/expectation. It's also really hard to let go and really give up control! What I am working on is holding onto what I want (an amazing job that I love and will be perfect for the rest of my time in London, an adorable flat that I will have all to myself and be my sanctuary, and the best traveling experience EVER :) So I hold onto that, but let go of exactly what it looks like. I also find it easier to do this by believing that there is an intelligent/loving Universe that is guiding and supporting me always.
3. I do my best to stay present and grounded in the current moment.
I'm human, I'm not perfect, I can still get caught up worrying about the future or overanalyzing the past, however the difference between me now and me a few years ago, is that I am aware of when I slip into these thought patterns and I do my best to break the cycle and get back to the present moment. I acknowledge them and let them go. I realise that worrying about that future flat and job right now in this moment – doesn't actually do me any good. I then go back to item number two and work towards releasing that fear/worry to a Higher Power that I believe is guiding and supporting me and then go back to number one to acknowledge the bravery that I have developed from stepping out on this journey in the first place.
Do I still have moments of fear and doubt? Of course. But I don't beat myself up for them anymore. I think that has been a final thing that has been key for me as I am working towards making peace with uncertainty and the final bullet point of this list
4. I have love and compassion for myself exactly where I am at.
Even if where I am at in the present moment is not feeling all that great. Only by embracing everything can I make peace with anything.
Am I worried about where I will work when I get back, if I will make friends when I am traveling, and what my future home looks like? I would by lying if I said I wasn't at all. But I am working on making peace with all of these unknowns and just trusting that everything as cliché as it sounds will unfold as its meant to.