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  • Writer's pictureMaria Vandenburg

Defragmenting my Hard Drive

Updated: Jun 13, 2023

Being willing to unlearn everything that I think that I know, that has been the direction that my life has been leading me lately.

With the recent passing of the holiday formerly known as Thanksgiving (at least in my eyes) something wasn't sitting right after sharing a wonderful meal with my mother in a beautiful space that I am currently cat sitting in/for.

I have long sensed that I am being called to open up to receiving deeper wisdom from the Indigenous wisdom keepers, my first direct exposure to this was the opening ceremony for the Celebrate Your Life retreat I attended in Sedona a few weeks ago.

I have also long said that I am now being called to anchor my wisdom within my body. This means no longer living "up and out" but "down and in," to quote Divine Harmony.

So with that came my enrollment into "Decolonizing to Align with the New Earth" taught by Dra. Rosales Meza and Marilu Shinn. I am only about halfway through the first section of their teaching and felt compelled to capture some of what I am experiencing.

Unlearning what we currently believe to be true/know sounds like an easy thing to do in theory, but in reality, it's not. Our belief systems are involved. It requires surrender, it requires compassion, it requires fierce vulnerability, and a willingness to look deep within ourselves. We have to be willing to come to a genuine state of acceptance that some of the ways in which we view the world/life/ourselves are destructive. Destructive to not only ourselves but to each other and the planet as a whole.

We have to be willing to get out of our own way and admit there are some biases and flaws to our thinking. We have been programmed to believe in scarcity (i.e. the idea that there is not enough for everyone, so we have to compete) or entitlement (i.e that we deserve XYZ) when in reality, neither one of these things are true. It's such a trip to realize we have all been programmed to believe that success is going to school, getting a million degrees, landing a high paid executive job, buying a big house, having 22 cars and a private jet, and that if we don't have those things... we aren't enough. As Dr. Rocio says "that what we have deems our worthiness as a human being." This is an incredibly harmful point of view, yet one that the society we live within is based on. Colonization, as Dr. Rocio and Marilu define it is about extraction and hoarding. At the core of it is about feeling we are not enough because we've been indoctrinated to feel that way. POWERFUL stuff. It's about knowing and accepting that we have unconsciously colluded with this, and holding ourselves with ease, grace, and compassion as we begin to unravel what we thought we knew/know.

They call on us to not just receive this wisdom with our minds but to integrate with daily conscious choices in how we live our lives. Dr. Sue Morter (another teacher whom I have only recently found but already deeply love) talks about embodiment being integration. It's not about just intellectually understanding something, it's about having a felt sense of it in the body, about being conscious of it in the body and properly integrating it into our everyday lives, the same with Divine Harmony who approachess things from an astrological perspective.

The tricky part? This work is not always easy to do, but I am willing!

More reflections to come, but if you are interested in learning more about decolonization you can find the details of the course that I just enrolled in here:

Interested in learning more about my personal journey?


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